Wonderful Definitions

*Wonderful Definitions*
*
School* *
A place where Parents pay and children play* *
**
Life Insurance** **
A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.*
*Nurse:** **
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.**
**
Marriage** **
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains
her masters.. **
**
Divorce** **
Future tense of Marriage.**
**
Tears** **
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine
waterpower. **
**
Lecture*
*An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" **
**
Conference** **
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. **
**
Compromise** **
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest piece **
**
Dictionary** **
A place where success comes before work **
**
Conference Room** **
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later
on **
**
Father** **
A banker provided by nature **
**
Criminal** **
A person no different from the rest** **
...except that he/she got caught **
**
Boss** **
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early**
**
Politician** **
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after **
**
DOCTOR** **
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. **
**
Classic** **
Books, which people praise, but do not read. **
**
Smile** **
A curve that can set a lot of things straight. **
**
Office** **
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. **
**
Yawn** **
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. **
**
Etc.** **
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. **
**
Committee** **
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together. **
**
Experience** **
The name men give to their mistakes. **
**
Atom Bomb** **
An invention to end all inventions. **
**
Philosopher** **
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise